Co-parenting peacefully: Tips for handling drop-offs and pickups

Divorce often has a particularly heavy impact on minor children, who suddenly find their lives torn apart due to no fault of theirs. With no say and no power to influence the upheaval, they may sustain mental and emotional wounds with long-lasting implications.

Courts take this into account and try to arrange child custody and parenting time around the best interests of the children. They encourage continued contact with both parents after divorce. Co-parenting properly is essential to maintaining children’s sense of stability, including handling pickups and drop-offs peacefully.

Arrive on time

One key to success is each parent showing up when he or she says he or she will. Constantly being late can cause friction between the parents and become a source of major conflict. It may also cause the children to worry that the other parent is not really eager to see them, which can deepen psychological trauma.

Stick to the schedule

While changes to plans are not always avoidable, when possible, it is important to maintain the agreed-upon schedule. Frequently making last-minute changes upsets everyone involved’s schedule and is also a potential cause of conflict. If changes must happen, it is important for the co-parent making them to inform the other parent as soon as possible so he or she may make adjustments. Communicating properly can help mitigate any difficulty caused by a sudden alteration to plans.

Remain civil

Drop-offs and pickups can be tense situations if the divorce was not amicable. However, the children are likely to witness any angry behavior. Remaining calm and civil and avoiding unnecessary interaction can help prevent this.

Switching between parenting times is one of the times when the entire original family is together again. It is important to keep it from becoming a time of contention and conflict for the children’s sake.